For the last few weeks, I’ve begun to feel the wear and tear of life in long term international missions. I miss home. I miss family, friends, food, and normal everyday life stuff in the States. I love being on the field and I love living in Christian community in a way I have never experienced, but it’s hard.
As I was reading through my Lent study today, the scripture was Exodus 14:1-14, 20-23. The Israelites have been wondering through the desert. They are tired, hungry, and probably annoyed. They are now being chased by Pharaoh and his army and servants. Not only are they tired, hungry, probably annoyed, but now they are most likely fearful of what’s to come. The Israelites start to complain to Moses asking him why couldn’t they have just stayed back in Egypt as slaves because it would be better to be a slave in Egypt than to die in the wilderness. Maybe so, but that’s not what the Lord had planned for them. All they needed to do was trust God.
The Lent study ended with a few prompt questions about our own life and how it is related to the scripture. The first question was along the lines of asking yourself if there has ever been a time in your life where you had come to the end of yourself with no resources and no one to turn to, and then asking God to come into those memories.
As I began to write, I realized that I’ve been writing about the same things over and over again throughout my conversations with God. I told Him that we always talk about these things, so what is it that you want to show me about them now? He begin to remind me of His faithfulness. Over and over again, He has been faithful. He has always turned my hard seasons into good and for His glory. He reminded me of Isaiah 43:19 that He brought me to when I was in Lesotho. He will make a way in the wilderness, and He will make streams in the desert.
He kept asking me to trust Him in the hard seasons. He will work together good for those who love Him. He will make a way to come out of difficult seasons. BUT, you have to keep going. It reminds me of the blog I wrote at the very beginning of the race when I was beginning to encounter my first of difficult seasons on the race. The Lord taught me through that to keep going. As I sat and reflected on this scripture in Exodus and my own life, I realized the Israelites forgot about their third option. So the Lord gave me this vision:
I saw myself standing at the edge of the Red Sea. The water has been moved to make a pathway. The water is pushed back on both sides and have so clearly made a safe pathway for me to walk through. These are my options. I can stay right where I am, go back to where I came from, or walk through to the other side.
In staying where I am is to be stagnant, lukewarm, or to coast which leads to death. In my case, spiritual death. Option 2 is not any better. I can choose to turn around and go back to where I came from. To do that would be just like what the Israelites thought would be better, to go back to slavery, sin, and my old life of death. Or I could choose the third option which is what the Israelites failed to see. I could choose to keep going. I could choose to keep going until I reach the other side of the sea. I could walk through where the Lord has made a way. I could chose to keep pushing through the hard season(s) and to trust God. I could choose to walk over to the side of more victory, more freedom, and more growth.
In this season of feeling homesickness amongst other hard feelings, I have these three options. As much as it would almost be easier to sit, coast, or turn back around, I know the Lord has something more. I know to keep going is the better option. I see where the Lord has been there for me in the past, so why wouldn’t He be now? He continues to remind me of His past faithfulness. I pray that my trust in Him would deepen as I go through these last couple of months of the race (& life) in order to get to the other side of that sea. I don’t want to spend the next few months coasting or thinking about living in the fear of what’s to come or what has been.
I believe the next couple of months of what my squad is about to step into is going to be something big. I believe, like it says in Isaiah 43, the Lord IS about to do a new thing. I believe He has been faithful, and I believe He is going to make a way.
I would like to ask you all to partner with me and my teammates in prayer for these next couple of months as we being to see the end of the race approaching. We are getting ready to leave Rwanda very soon and head to Romania. Here we will be working with Hope Church locations to work along side them in refugee ministry for those who are fleeing Ukraine. Afterwards, the plan is to end the race with ministry in Greece before heading back to the states.
Please pray for us to stay focused to keep going and to be reminded of the Lord’s faithfulness. Pray for peace that surpasses all understanding and for hearts and minds to continue to love people well even when we don’t have all the answers. Pray for us as a squad to not coast through what’s left of this race but to make the most of every opportunity the Lord presents to us, and to lean in to all He still wants to teach us, heal us from, and for the continual growth in our faith journeys.
Thank you for all the prayers and support from each of you. I have received several messages about how you guys pray for us at home, and I, along with my teams, are so thankful for each and every prayer. We love you guys a lot, and we are very thankful for our support systems back home.
