Colombia Part 2: Ciudad Refugio

Like I mentioned in my last blog, our last two weeks of ministry in Colombia was at an organization called Ciudad Refugio. This ministry has so many moving parts and does so much. We have worked along side their drug rehabilitation program for both men and women. We have walked the streets of the homeless and drug community to pray and give out food. We have served in their church service. We have served in their youth ministry, and we have served in their children’s program. 

This ministry is truly what it looks like to be the hands and feet of Jesus. I encourage you to check them out yourself too at http://ciudadrefugio.org.

There are many things I could share about our time here, but I specifically want to share about my experience with Aguapanella which is a homeless & drug ministry that happens on Wednesday nights and Thursday mornings. Each week the ministry goes out to a part of town called the Broncs, which is a community full of people who are homeless or drug addicts or both, and they bring them bread, sweet water, and information on how to get involved with the rehabilitation program at the Refugio. I went out with our team and others from the ministry to Aguapanella twice during our time at Ciudad Refugio. Once during the night visit and once during the morning. Both times were very different experiences, but the Lord taught me something in both.

When we arrived the first time on Wednesday evening, I didn’t really have any expectations. Everyone pilled out, prayed, and we started ministry. The object was to get people to line up in front of the truck to pass out the food and drink, and give them a paper about the Refugio. You could either stay around the line and talk/pray with those in the line, or you could go in a small group walking the streets to pray and talk with people. I, at first, wasn’t sure what to do or where to go. I was standing by the line of people ready to receive their food when one of the guys with our ministry handed me a bag of bread and said, “here, you do this.” 

I stood there the whole time handing out bread/rolls one by one until we ran out. I was also taking it all in. There was another group that came with us that was worshipping off to the side of the line the whole time we were there. As I was passing out the bread, listening to the team lift up their voices and instruments to God, while I was looking each person in line in the eye, my heart broke for the amount of pain and brokenness I was seeing. Most were very strung out on drugs and were pretty out of it. Nothing like I’ve ever seen before. You could see the pain, confusion, and hurt in their eyes as if you could see their story. With every eye contact and drop of bread in their hands, I could hear the Lord’s voice so clearly: “feed my sheep.” I could feel my heart breaking for what breaks his. I could feel the Lord’s love and grace for each person I saw. Many came so frequently to this ministry that they would say, “Dios te bendiga,” meaning, “God bless you” in English. They would say this before the words could even come out of my own mouth to them. It was so evident the impact this ministry was and is making. It was so prevalent that night that the Spirit of the Lord was in that place guiding us, protecting us, and showing us more of his heart. It felt as if I had been floating the whole time we were there. Yes, I felt the sadness, but never fear or anxiousness. In the midst of all the pain and brokenness, God was still there. I could see him and feel his presence. He was still there loving and ready to receive each individual with grace. 

The next time I visited the Broncs with my team, we went during one of the Thursday morning visits. This time upon arrival, I immediately felt anxious and wasn’t really sure why. I stayed at the front of the line again, but instead of handing out the bread to the individuals, I helped open new packages of bread to give to the person who was passing it out. Again, I tried to take everything in and see what it was that God was wanting to show me. For me, the daytime felt and looked different. It seemed more “exposed” in a way. The trash pilling the streets was more visible, the smell seemed stronger, the sores on the skin and arms of the people were more evident and noticeable from drug use. You could see so many people sitting on the sides of the street doing all types and forms of drugs. I could see people laughing at us as if it was a joke. While I was still feeling this anxiousness, I began to ask God what and why was I feeling this way. Why did this feel so different than our last time being here? I wanted to leave. As time passed, I realized I was feeling anger. I, myself, was not angry. I was not mad, but I felt anger. I was not angry at God, but it felt like it was with God. I continued to sit with this asking God to reveal to me why I was feeling this way. I felt the Lord say this is another side. This is my righteous anger. Yes, there is grace. Yes, there is love. But yes, there is also righteous anger. I felt him say this is how I feel when you know and have been told the truth, but continuously choose to walk the other way. This is how I feel when you choose other things over me, especially when those things do harm to your body, soul, and mind. As I was standing there after we ran out of bread, I just wanted to walk the streets and yell for the people to leave that place, to get out, to run into the arms of the Father and away from the things that were hurting them and hurting him. 

God loves each of us dearly. He never runs out of second chances. There is always grace that abounds even after the 1000th mistake of continually choosing other things over him. But it would also be silly to say that our choosing of things over him doesn’t also hurt him as well as ourselves. I know that my time in the Broncs wasn’t just to help serve along side the ministry and help bring hope to the people of that community. It was also to teach me. God also wanted to remind me to continually choose him. He wanted to remind me that it hurts him and myself when I choose anything else over him. A hard lesson to be reminded of, but he so willingly stands open armed waiting for us with love and grace every time. 

I’m very thankful for the opportunity to have served along side such an incredible ministry this month, and I’m even more thankful for the love and grace that we receive through Jesus.