This is my prophetic key. 

At training camp, there is a couple who started a ministry making keys with words on them. You can read more about it here: https://www.keysforthejourney.com. They pray over the key and the person receiving it, and then put a word on the key that they feel God is wanting them to put. 

Go. I honestly thought I already knew what it meant. When I arrived at launch in Atlanta and picked up my key, I knew I already had a connection to this word. Go was the word God gave me when I knew I was to go on the race. Go was the word God gave me for my last sermon I preached at Brooklet UMC before leaving for the race. Go was the last words Jesus left with the disciples before ascending to heaven. I knew God and I had already talked about that word, and I thought I knew what it meant.

Even my teammate Dana had already shared with me twice two visions from the Lord that she felt was for me. One was me and God sitting at a door. God was asking me to go through the door. The other was of me and God on the monkey bars. Again, God and I were at the start of the monkey bars, and he was asking me to go across them. I got it. God wanted me to go.

Turns out the key is not just to go but to KEEP GOING. Not just the literally prophetic key, but the key to life in general. 

Life is good, but life is also hard. For me, it has been so hard these last few weeks. My first few weeks on the race has not been easy, and so many times I’ve thought about giving up which I just knew wasn’t what I would ever think. I’ve just felt like it’s been one thing after another and lots, and I mean LOTS of emotions. To start, I’m the team treasurer which means I’m in charge of the team budget and debit card. Within the first 48 hours of landing in Costa Rica, our team card was not working, and we literally can not do anything without withdrawing money. The one job I was given, I felt stuck in. Within days of arriving at our ministry site, I started running a high fever which ended up being COVID. It was sooo miserable to be so sick with no bed and being in such a different environment. Our team had to quarantine for 10 days before being able to go back to ministry, and we hadn’t really done a whole lot up to this point. During all of that, the devil really got in my head. I missed home. I missed my church family. I missed my friends and family. I missed my all of it. While I felt super supported by my incredible team, I couldn’t deny that this was hard. After returning from quarantine, I hear news that my sister has COVID back home and it had turned into pneumonia. Within a few days, my sister’s boyfriend’s mother passes away from COVID. There was and is so much happening. There are so many emotions. There are so many questions, and I wanted to quit the whole “go” thing and go back home. 

As I’m trying to understand and unpack all that is happening in Costa Rica and back at home, I decided yesterday to read some more of a new book I just started called “Undaunted” by Christine Caine. As I am reading, this is the part that got me, “Go,” he told the disciples before he ascended into heaven. Go into all the world. Keep going past disappointment. Keep going past the disillusionment. Keep going past the despair. Keep going past pain. Keep going. Against all times. Keep going. Go and share everything I’ve shared with you, and I’ll be with you.”

In my head, I realized I had been thinking through all of my emotions, but God you said go, and I went. In this moment while reading Christine’s words, I heard God say yes, go, but keep going. It’s not over yet. Keep going even when. Keep going even when you don’t understand. Keep going even when you are angry. Keep going even when you are sad. Keep going even when you don’t want to. Keep going even when, fill in the blank. 

It made me think of Peter when he walked on the water. Peter was good at the first go. He stepped out onto the water from the boat just as he heard the go, but as he focused more on the storm around him and not Jesus, he stopped moving forward and started to sink in the storm.

Matthew 14:29-31

“Come and join me,” Jesus replied. So Peter stepped out onto the water and began to walk toward Jesus. But when he realized how high the waves were, he became frightened and started to sink. “Save me, Lord!” he cried out. Jesus immediately stretched out his hand and lifted him up and said, “What little faith you have! Why would you let doubt win?” 

I felt like Peter. I had been good at the first go. God I went. I stepped out of the boat, but when the storm around me started to get my attention more than Jesus, I began to sink and was letting doubt win. 

The key to keep going is to keep our eyes focused on Jesus. Faith is not a one time decision but an everyday decision. Faith is choosing everyday, in every heartbreak, in every pain, in every moment of not understanding, in every brokenness, in every situation, in every storm to keep going and to keep trusting God. To do so even when we don’t want to go anymore, even when we are tired of the going, but we choose to keep pushing, keep going, and keep the faith.

Honestly, I don’t understand. I am hurt. I am angry. I am sad. But God, I know you are good, and I know you are with me. I don’t understand, but I am choosing faith. I am choosing to grab the next bar on the monkey bars. I am choosing to not just go, but to keep going.